The Human Variable
by Themarigoldprincess
Summary: All the Autobots have to get humans! Will they learn to work together, or go crazy first?
1. Routine-Silverbolt's Sorta 3rd POV

Silverbolt has a schedule. A routine. Something happens exactly on certain days, at certain times.

His brothers don't realize that the time slots are there, following them due to instinct, and Silverbolt and Superion's silent urging.

Every first Monday of the month, they get up at five and train with the Twins for three hours.

Then, patrols separate them out for the rest of the day. Their refueling and washing times are synchronized.

Every other Tuesday or Thursday, in between second and third feeding times, Air Raid does something stupid and either lands up in the brig or with extra duty.

Every other month on the second Tuesday, Slingshot gets caught helping him out, and has to share the punishment.

Every Friday, Skyfire gathers them up in the training room and gives them pointers and helps out with any other flier-specific issues.

On Wedsndays and Saturdays are when the Decepticons attack.

Because fliers have to have routine. Or otherwise they go crazy.

Seekers, and Shuttles, all fliers. Even Swoop, the Dinobot. Who's pretty much become the Aerialbots' pet, but more on that another time.

Then the humans came. And all the pits broke loose.

#$%&

"Autobots, please make your way to the rec room."

Silverbolt nods to acknowledge Prowl's voice over the speaker, despite the fact that only Red Alert can see him.

Red Alert just gives him a suspicious look as he holds the door for the giant flier, nothing more.

Though Silverbolt's come to realize, in the seven short years of his life, Red Alert looks suspiciously at everyone.

"Gentlemechs, I have an announcement to make." Prowl announces after affirming that everyone is there.

"Obviously." Someone huffs somewhere, but the room stays otherwise quiet.

"Each one of you will be getting human partners."

All of a sudden the room breaks into Kaos and it's a good solid five minutes before Prowl ts it all back under control.

"But, each of you will get to fill out a piece of paper on what kind of human you want. Bumblebee will be handing these out. But, remember. Whatever you don't fill in, you cannot complain about. And if you make it too specific it will take longer for us to find the human."

The room could almost hear Sunstreaker making up his mind about that.

It may be a while before the golden twin gets a partner.

As the room falls into hushed murmers, Silverbolt feels a small tapping on his leg.

"Oh, thank you Bumblebee." The scout beams at him in response before scurrying off.

Just Bumblebee is so small, how is he going to take care of a human?!

He sighs as he looks at the regular bot-sized paper in his servo, reading out the characteristics.

Someone bumps into his arm but he decides not to acknowledge them right now.

"Silverbolt!"

"Could you be any louder?" Silverbolt huffs as Slingshot frowns at him. His whispering is pretty much what humans call "stage whispering".

"Whatever. Aren't you excited?"

"I'm surprised that you are," Silverbolt says honestly. Slingshot's not known for his great love of teamwork.

"Well, I put down a chick-"

"Why would you want a bird as your partner?!" Slingshot just looks at him blankly.

"A female human, and I making sure she's friends with your human so she'll hang out with you instead of me." Slingshot huffs, apparently his "not annoyed streak" gone.

"Oh." Silverbolt has to give it to him, that's actually pretty smart. Given that the female human actually wouldn't mind him.

He's not exactly the best socializer. Especially when women are involved.

He puts down only two things; Location; Texas. Hair: Curly Blond.

Slingshot frowns up at him, reading what he had wrote down through the spark bond.

"What? Texas people are nice. And I just like curly hair," Silverbolt shrugs.

"Okayyyyy then." Now Slingshot just looks amused.

Silverbolt's not sure which one's worse.


	2. Oh Gosh Please Let it be Chip -Prowl

**Seems how I got two questions about Prowl, I decided to start with him first! :) Please enjoy!**

Prowl is nervous. Not that anyone other than the trained eye could see. His doorwings' occasional twitch is truly the only thing that gives him away, and only to some one who knows how to read wing signals.

Unfortunately Skyfire fits under that category, and is giving him a look of reassurance.

The shuttle had been assigned to bring in the humans as soon as ones were found that fit the Autobots' requirements. Which was logical, but Prowl still doesn't trust Skyfire after the he had been a Deception, no matter how briefly. And he was friends with Starscream! What mech like that can be trusted? No one is friends with Starscream.

Just like how no one is friends with him. Anyone who thinks they are are misguided. Except maybe Chip...

The human's innocence and intelligence somehow lowered some of Prowl's barriers, more than he cares to admit. He let the human see sides of him he'd never let anyone see.

Like how he likes singing along to Don't Stop Believing. (Don't mention it to him or I may lose my life.)

He really couldn't stand working with anyone _not_ like Chip. So he wrote essentially all of Chip's attributes down.

He'd been justly surprised when his human came along with the first batch.

"Prowl?! Hey!" A brunette boy grins and waves from a wheelchair...

"Chip?!" Prowl tries to push away the hopefulness fluttering in his spark. Could this mean-?!

"According to this paper I get to be your partner! I'm glad I got you, some guys I don't think I'd really be a good match with," Chip jokes.

Prowl lets out an intake he hadn't realized he'd been holding as he momentarily allows relief to wash over his features.

He can feel Skyfire's happy engine rumble in the background rather than hears it, and knows that the shuttle feels quite pleased with himself, pairing up Prowl and Chip.

Smug aft fliers.

"So where are your quarters? I mean, since I'm moving in with you and all." Chip grins as he gestures to the suitcase and travel bag by his chair.

Prowl holds out a servo to take the belongings, before picking up Chip's wheelchair with the other, glad to note that the human had brought a sleeping bag and pillow.

Prowl hadn't really prepared, since his calculations hadn't ruled in the factor of Chip actually becoming his partner.

All he has is a blanket and human-sized coffee machine he had got a while ago just in case the humans needed it, and a Earth first aid kit in one of his desk drawers.

"So this is your room? Neat!" Chip looks excited at the prospect of having a roommate, and Prowl can't help but share some of Chip's excitement.

This may not be such a bad idea after all...

He may even _enjoy_ it.

 **Thanks for reading! So, how this is gonna work is, whatever bots y'all suggest, I'll put a story of them getting their partner! Then, if you want a specific scenario, I'll write that as well. Like morning blues, training, fighting together, sleeping... Whatever y'all want! Heehee.**

 **(Nothing inappropriate though please, unless they have a stupid moment where like the human farts and then they both burst into infectious giggles like five year olds :))**


	3. They're so CONTAMINATED -Red Alert

**Heehee, I also got two asking about Red Alert, so guess who gets a partner next?! :D**

Red Alert watches the clock tick by, hoping that his human partner will just go back home if he's "accidentally" late enough.

A light knock on his door alerts him to Skyfire's presence. Frag it! He hadn't counted on Skyfire!

Skyfire's gonna bring that filthy human straight into his quarters without inspection?!

 _If you had gone to get your partner you could have inspected them beforehand_. His conscious reminds him as he gets up reluctantly. Skyfire is too darn patient sometimes.

"Yeeees?"

"You " forgot" your human came today!" Skyfire announces cheerfully, though with a reprimanding expression, since whoever the human is, they'll be too short to see Skyfire's face plate.

"Red Alert, meet Patrick." Skyfire introduces the tan, dark haired male.

"Hello!" Even with the single word Red Alert can tell the humans Southern accent, and is immediately reassured.

Oh thank goodness!

For some reason, people with those accents can calm him down when he's having a panic attack. (Something he hasn't told anyone except Inferno. He realized it was the accent when Ironhide calmed him down one time, not even realizing it was his voice.)

"Uh... Hi? I need to check you right away to make sure you didn't bring in any contaminations!" Red Alert remembers as he rushes the human over to his scanner.

Patrick looks quite surprised. This certainly hadn't been what he's expecting...?

"Contaminations?" Though the i's in the sentence sound like a's.

So calming.

Maybe this human can be trained to not be so _dirty_!

"Where are your belongings?! I have to scan them in too!" Red Alert rushes over to take them from Skyfire's awkwardly held out servos.

Red Alert silently shoos Skyfire away with a brisk servo, uploading each item to the data base for closer, digitalized, examination.

"So uh... I'm clean?" Patrick offers, not quite sure about this situation. He'd just been teaching the kids in swim lessons when his boss got the call.

He's been assigned to work with one of the Autobots.

Though... This one is apparently physchotic.

"No no no, you must clean right away!" Red Alert prods him over to the giant single shower, turning on the water and letting the human figure it out.

"Umm... What about soap?" Patrick asks awkwardly.

Man, can this day get any weirder? Or this neat freak robot he apparently has to live with now.

Hoo boy, this is gonna take some getting used to.

 **What do y'all think? I know it's not as good as my last one... But I've never written either of the characters before, so I guess I did pretty good? Eh, tell me what y'all think? :)**


	4. Bro -Sideswipe

**We're about to have some major brodom, buckle your brobelt and fasten your bromets.**

Sideswipe is actually quite pleased with himself.

He feels so smart.

Which is rare, he knows.

He just put down on his paper, basically himself. So that way Prowl will regret his decision soooo much, Sideswipe doesn't have to have a partner any more!

Or, he can have plenty fun with this human and tick off Sassypants aka Sunshine with his new "best bud".

Either way works for him, as he stretches luxuriously in his chair, finally done with the stupid report Prowl made him fill out.

"Sideswipe?" The soft ping on his audio almost doesn't get acknowledged with Sideswipe's t and happy attitude.

"Huh?"

"Your human is here... But I... I lost him." Skyfire sounds very embarrassed and shy.

"Okay dude, I'll go find 'im. What's he look like?"

"Black hair, blue hoodie-"

"Kay got it bro." Sideswipe doesn't bother to hear the rest as he saunters out of the room, still oh-so-proud of himself.

"Black hair... Blue hoodie..." Sideswipe smirks, knowing that if this human really is just like him...

Yep! He appears to be setting up some sort of trap by Hound's door.

Now, Hound is a nice guy, but he _is_ really funny when he's mad.

Sideswipe starts helping the human silently set up the prank, both nearly understanding eachother's next move immediately.

They hear footsteps and scatter, Sideswipe pulling his new partner back into his quarters in the nick of time.

A splash and a surprised shout rings out the second the door slides closed.

"Name's Carlos. You?"

"Sideswipe." He grins, shaking the humans outstretched hand. This is gonna be good.

"Now we gotta wait for Sunny." Sideswipe thinks aloud with a grin, to which Carlos catches on, mischief shining in his expression.

"What are we gonna do to Sunny?"

"We gotta be best bros, he _hates_ that. Even more than when somebody scratches his paintjob."

"Bro."

"Bro."

"Bros?"

"Bros."

#$%&

URGH!

Sunstreaker chunks his energon cube across the room, all by himself. Again.

Sideswipe's been hanging out with that stupid fleshy!

How dare he!?

They are twins! They don't ignore eachother for humans!

It's just not right!

"That's it!" Sunstreaker shouts, attacking the poor desk.

"I'm confronting him!" He announces to no one in particular.

#$%&

"Uh oh."

That's the first time Sideswipe's muttered that in _eons._

Sunny looks pissed!

"Shi- Carlos, hide!"

"With who?!"

"Go find that chick that's Slingshot's partner, she's nice enough to hide you and mean enough to kick anybody's aft that tries to get you." Sideswipe hisses, shoving the human out of harm's way as he swerves to answer his brother.

"Well hello there, fancy seeing you here." Sideswipe greets, once again glad for the poker face that's won him quite a couple games.

"You! You've been ignoring me! HOW DARE YOU?!"

"I thought last week you said you were disowning me as your twin!" Sideswipe retorts, letting a little of his anger show.

Carlos watches from the door frame, "that chick that's Slingshot's partner" protectively standing over him like a mama bird, gun in hand, "just in case".

"You idiot! I'd never do that!"

"You wouldn't?"

"No!"

Ratchet just sighs from his seat. Poor poor idiots... But they're frontliners.

"Oh. Carlos, come back over here." Sideswipe beckons the human over, Slingshot's partner reluctantly letting him go.

"Kay, bro, bro."

"Bro, bro." Sideswipe introduces the two.

"Bro." Carlos grins cheesily and holds up his hand.

"Bro." Sunstreaker answers, repeating the gesture. (But not the expression. Sunstreaker's too dignified for that.)

 **Bros! What did y'all think? Heehee this was so much fun! Thank you Soundwave (Guest)! Loved this idea!**

 **P.S. Guests' reviews don't show up on the site, but I do get emailed y'all's reviews! Thank all y'all for y'all's support!**

 **Feel free to continue with requests! I love hearing from y'all!**


	5. It's So Tiny -Silverbolt

Silverbolt's still not too keen on this partner idea.

Slingshot still constantly argues with his partner, but thinks she's "the greatest thing since sliced bread". (A quote picked up from said partner.)

So Silverbolt guesses they... Like arguing?

He sure hopes his partner doesn't.

But he gets his partner today. He's nervous, much more nervous than he would ever care to admit.

At least his wings really can't move, unlike his brothers',or they'd be twitching all over the place.

"Silverbolt, can you please come down?" Skyfire's voice calmly questions over his common link as he stands, heading out the door and hoping there's not actually anything crawling in his armor, it's just his imagination.

By the time he makes it down to the rec room, he's got himself under control luckily.

"Silverbolt, this is your partner, Ethan Smith." Skyfire introduces the tiny human in his servos.

Oh no...

He's small even by human standards...

Silverbolt resists the urge to ask for a taller one.

Avery(Slingshot's partner) had said she only had a couple of friends, and Silverbolt's brothers have been partnered with the rest.

This is the last one.

Luckily Ethan looks as his nervous as Silverbolt feels, hesitantly walking onto Silverbolt's outstretched palm, grinning up at him awkwardly yet not making eye contact, before looking back down.

Silverbolt hadn't thought about his partner being intimidated.

Though it should have been obvious. Avery's one of the few who wasn't, settling in like she's been living on the Ark for eons.

Meanwhile Skyfire still feels like he doesn't fit in.

Funny isn't it? How some people just-

Ethan tugging his luggage onto Silverbolt's servo interrupts the Concorde's musings.

"So uh... I.. Live with you... Now?" Ethan's voice sounds very small as he appears to struggle with just saying that.

Silverbolt's processor already doesn't like this tiny weakling.

Like this human could save anyone! He probably won't even make it through Silverbolt's training, much less battle!

"Where are you from?" Silverbolt frowns, scrutinizing the five foot four human under his piercing gaze.

"California?"

"Not Texas?"

"No... I've lived there for a while..." Ethan looks like he wants to die.

Silverbolt does too.

Just great.

Primus must be laughing up there somewhere.

Silverbolt was obviously an idiot having that sliver of hope that he'll have a good relationship with his partner.

He suddenly envies Slingshot for the first time in his life.

#$%&

"Avery he hates me." Ethan says quietly, allowing himself to be hugged and washed over with Avery's maternal instincts, despite his awkwardness.

He usually doesn't come seeking out physical affection, like, ever.

"He doesn't hate you," Avery croons.

"He thinks I'm too small." Ethan scoffs, burying his face in her shoulder, her hand starting to make circles across his back.

"You're not too small."

"To him I am. He'd rather me die so he can get a new partner. Avery I'm not sure how much longer I can do this."

"Ethan please don't leave! Remember, it took you and me a little while to become friends, right? Give it time." Avery reminds him, oblivious to the advice she just gave.

She still can't understand Slingshot three fourths of the time.

Apparently all he likes to do is argue. About the things she believes in.

Jerk.

"Okay." Ethan slips off to let her change into her PJs unbothered, a rarity when you share a room with eight males.

#$%&

"ACK! Ethan, we're going down!" Silverbolt shouts as his instruments go haywire, his wings feeling like they're ripping off his body as he tumbles towards the ground.

It's his worse nightmare.

The middle of battle. They need Superion. He can't help. His brothers are in trouble. He can't help them either. He's plumeting towards the ground. He's gonna die and take a lot of people with him.

No...

His short life full of colorful memories, flashes before his optics, he starts preparing himself for the blackness of death..

Suddenly he's jerked up and steadied, Ethan taking over his controls, activating his weapons and doing all the work of two pilots on his own, taking down a whole row of Deceptions before turning back, and setting the rest of the Aerialbots free.

Slingshot glides under his wing, carrying him on one side while Air Raid does the same on the other, letting him rest his weight on them and giving Ethan a break.

"Guh... You... You okay?" He questions, extremely concerned as he snaps back up, checking over Silverbolt's controls.

"Yes... Some blast suddenly knocked out my engines... We need to tell Prime."

"Yeah," Ethan agrees. He runs a hand through his hair, hoping he doesn't ever have to do that again.

"Ethan..." Silverbolt feels a sick feeling in his fuel tanks, but he has to say this.

"Yeah?"

"I am so sorry. For everything. I've been a terrible partner... I... Underestimated you. I thought you couldn't do anything. Because I was trying to compare you to a bot. And... You're a human. And I apologize for trying to make you something you're not."

"Oh." Ethan looks put his window, his eyes full of unsaid emotions.

"Thanks." Silverbolt doesn't answer, instead nudging Ethan curiously with his EM field.

He's not sure if humans can sense-

Ethan's suddenly relaxed expression informs him that they do.

Silverbolt offers the warmth and comfort of his "momma bird field' as Air Raid " lovingly" nicknamed it.

It's actually part of being a gestalt leader. Skydive could explain of further, but he's not Skydive.

He finds him dangerously close to falling into a recharge...

 **Eeyyyy my peeps! What did y'all think? Great? Not so great? Makes ya wanna build a wall? Idk it's twelve forty four I'm going to slee- zzzzzz**


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